How to celebrate new year in Buenos Aires?

I received some questions from some possible clients (and also from some people that want advice but don`t want to pay) and a lot of them are asking the same thing. What is the best thing to do for new year`s eve?

Here are some cases and how I solved them.

Hi, I`m john from Kansas. I`m 23 and I`ve just finished college. I would like to meet some people and I think that new year`s eve is a wonderful occasion. I`m a cool guy, I love beer and women.

Ok, this is a typical case of "you say you are cool but I know you are not". It`s easy to please you John, just go to a random bar in San Telmo, and you`ll find what you want, lots of beer and women. Probably it`s your l day, cause with all the toasts for the new year will assure you a significant number of druk ladies and maybe you get lucky...

I`m Maria from Switzerland and I don`t want to spend the new years`s eve at my 5 stars hotel. I would rather do something more authentic, I would like to celebrate the way that locals do. Please help me diva, I know you can!

Hi Maria. You want to celebrate the Argentinian way? Perfect. I`ll tell you how. First check if you have any relative in argentina. You don`t? It doesn`t matter, probably a friend of yours has a relative here. Find their number and called them. Tell them that you are an European cousin and that you are spending the 31 in your hotel room. They`ll invite you to go with them.
Buy lots of cheap cider, and cheap alcohol in general and take it for them. After the meal and after 5 or 6 bottles of alcohol the show will begin. . . You will be able to hear all kinds of fight and you won`t believe that these people are relatives. It`ll be worst than a war. It`s like a soap opera but everything ends by 4 am. Tears, laughs, cursing and more. Don`t miss this reality show!!!!