Wanted: El Chanta Reward:$ 10.000
You think that Buenos Aires is not the right place for you? Maybe is just because you haven`t read this yet. Maybe you`ve just come across with all the undesirable porteños and you haven`t had the opportunity to meat people like me (or my friends). here you`ll find different kind of porteños so you can`t say you didn`t know....
Have you ever heard the word Chanta? No? Ok, I`ll teach you. From now on, that`s going to be one of the most important words if you want to survive in this city. Instead of telling you what it saids on the dictionary, I`ll give you a description of how a chanta looks like and behaves. You`ll
realize that you know a lot of them...
Ok, they an be spotted easily cause they are always trying to drove the attention. They are loud and outgoing. When you are watching their show you think " What a dumb ass" but if you talk to them they`ll convince you that they are not, and they don`t do that by showing how intelligent they are,.....they do it by flattering you. They start to make promises that they`ll help you and all of a sudden they will get you a job, find you a husband/wife (because they have a friend that`ll be the perfect match for you) and you are invited to their house to eat "the best asado in argentina" (that`s how he/she describes it). Appart from that he/she talks an hour about her/his beautiful Estncia in La pampa and how wonderful it would be if you could join them next weekend. Now, he/she officially has you in his net. You think that you have a new friend that will help you in this new and scary big city....but you are wrong. If you call him/her to make the arrangement to go to the estancia he/she will be busy and will give you any number of excuses. Poor you; you bought a new swimsuit and you won`t have the chance to use it.
Accidentally you jump into him/her on the street and you try to explain how disappointed you are, but you can`t. He scream and shout how nice is to see you again, how wonderful life is and blah blah blah for 5 minutes until she/he tells you that he is in a rush. So he/she left without even letting you say "A". I`m telling you, these is dangerous people, no kidding.
In general, they are named carlos (cacho is the short name) ruben, anibal or any short name that has a "CH" in it (like chiqui, cuchi, etc, etc). For the women the names are not meaningful, just pay attention: if you hear her calling "mi amor"(my love) "corazon" (heart) "mi vida" (my life) to anybody, she`s probably a total bitch.
So; if we analyze all this evidence, we`ll come to the conclusion that these kind of people are just losers. They feel miserable but they don`t want to show it. They are not bright or special in any way so they have to put up all this stupid and pathetic show. Lets have mercy.
So the moral is, don`t be stupid, don`t believe them, but don`t turn into a bitch yourself by criticizing all of the rest of us because of them...
Have you ever heard the word Chanta? No? Ok, I`ll teach you. From now on, that`s going to be one of the most important words if you want to survive in this city. Instead of telling you what it saids on the dictionary, I`ll give you a description of how a chanta looks like and behaves. You`ll
realize that you know a lot of them...
Ok, they an be spotted easily cause they are always trying to drove the attention. They are loud and outgoing. When you are watching their show you think " What a dumb ass" but if you talk to them they`ll convince you that they are not, and they don`t do that by showing how intelligent they are,.....they do it by flattering you. They start to make promises that they`ll help you and all of a sudden they will get you a job, find you a husband/wife (because they have a friend that`ll be the perfect match for you) and you are invited to their house to eat "the best asado in argentina" (that`s how he/she describes it). Appart from that he/she talks an hour about her/his beautiful Estncia in La pampa and how wonderful it would be if you could join them next weekend. Now, he/she officially has you in his net. You think that you have a new friend that will help you in this new and scary big city....but you are wrong. If you call him/her to make the arrangement to go to the estancia he/she will be busy and will give you any number of excuses. Poor you; you bought a new swimsuit and you won`t have the chance to use it.
Accidentally you jump into him/her on the street and you try to explain how disappointed you are, but you can`t. He scream and shout how nice is to see you again, how wonderful life is and blah blah blah for 5 minutes until she/he tells you that he is in a rush. So he/she left without even letting you say "A". I`m telling you, these is dangerous people, no kidding.
In general, they are named carlos (cacho is the short name) ruben, anibal or any short name that has a "CH" in it (like chiqui, cuchi, etc, etc). For the women the names are not meaningful, just pay attention: if you hear her calling "mi amor"(my love) "corazon" (heart) "mi vida" (my life) to anybody, she`s probably a total bitch.
So; if we analyze all this evidence, we`ll come to the conclusion that these kind of people are just losers. They feel miserable but they don`t want to show it. They are not bright or special in any way so they have to put up all this stupid and pathetic show. Lets have mercy.
So the moral is, don`t be stupid, don`t believe them, but don`t turn into a bitch yourself by criticizing all of the rest of us because of them...
11 comments:
Yes your blog is so right and I am happy that you adressed the issues .
While most people here think that north americans are cold and heartless people I say to them to come and visit me in Boise Idaho and see how the people treat each other. Sure there are cities in America that people arent so nice but I have noticed In Buenos Aires do not accept foreigners willingly.
There is a barrier here that is like a brick wall and while people seem nice on the surface its all for show .
While I do find Buenos Aires attractive to look at unfortunately for me the people are its worst characteristic .
if one more taxi driver or person on the street tells me what I think of their city and then without me answering raves on about how beautiful the city is and how the portenas are the worlds most beautiful .
To me it smacks of insecurity and immaturity . The men even in their 50s act like babies and think that they can say what they want when they want to me on the street. I find this behaviour very low class.
In most of the world this would be considered sexual discrimination and then they have the audacity to pretend they are sophisticated.
Also Buenos Aires is very classist and people constantly putting people down just because of the area they live in.
It seems you just have to mention you live in Recoleta even if you are in Retiro or barrio norte and they think it gives them class.
Tell me what is so special about Recoleta ? There are some nice streets of course near the cemetary but the majority is uglier than most barrios in the city.
Also the fashions here are all class but as they say back home with no ass. I mean the labels are worn out screaming to the world for attention. Where are the individual fashionistas that you would see in most big cities .
And the food well that must have really fooled the travel writers who spend their days raving and reaving about the restaurants here.
Yes if you like meat and potatoes its the bomb but other more sophiticated cuisines like French Chinese and Italian its very average .
The pastas and sauces here are mediocre at best and most chinese restaurants here serve 1950s style chinese food so not to upset the porteno palate which is as bland as they can get.
I am sorry if I seem negative but I have been here too long to be fooled anymore .
I will be moving on soon to Bogota Columbia and while it is not paradise at leat the people are humble
Yes your blog is so right and I am happy that you adressed the issues .
While most people here think that north americans are cold and heartless people I say to them to come and visit me in Boise Idaho and see how the people treat each other. Sure there are cities in America that people arent so nice but I have noticed In Buenos Aires do not accept foreigners willingly.
There is a barrier here that is like a brick wall and while people seem nice on the surface its all for show .
While I do find Buenos Aires attractive to look at unfortunately for me the people are its worst characteristic .
if one more taxi driver or person on the street tells me what I think of their city and then without me answering raves on about how beautiful the city is and how the portenas are the worlds most beautiful .
To me it smacks of insecurity and immaturity . The men even in their 50s act like babies and think that they can say what they want when they want to me on the street. I find this behaviour very low class.
In most of the world this would be considered sexual discrimination and then they have the audacity to pretend they are sophisticated.
Also Buenos Aires is very classist and people constantly putting people down just because of the area they live in.
It seems you just have to mention you live in Recoleta even if you are in Retiro or barrio norte and they think it gives them class.
Tell me what is so special about Recoleta ? There are some nice streets of course near the cemetary but the majority is uglier than most barrios in the city.
Also the fashions here are all class but as they say back home with no ass. I mean the labels are worn out screaming to the world for attention. Where are the individual fashionistas that you would see in most big cities .
And the food well that must have really fooled the travel writers who spend their days raving and reaving about the restaurants here.
Yes if you like meat and potatoes its the bomb but other more sophiticated cuisines like French Chinese and Italian its very average .
The pastas and sauces here are mediocre at best and most chinese restaurants here serve 1950s style chinese food so not to upset the porteno palate which is as bland as they can get.
I am sorry if I seem negative but I have been here too long to be fooled anymore .
I will be moving on soon to Bogota Columbia and while it is not paradise at leat the people are humble
I`m very sad because you are leaving my city with such a negative view. A lot of things you say I agree, but one more time, that`s not the mayority of the people. As for the acceptance of the north Americans, I have tons of North American friend and they`ve never told me that they felt left out or something like that, but well you had a bad experience.
Hope you find bogota to be a better city
good luck
ps: frankly I don`t think that sausages or chinesse food are an important issue
Dear Bitchy Anonymous Person from Idaho,
As in most large, diverse, international capitals, Buenos Aires provides what's sought after. You've clearly done a rather sad job of seeking.
I wonder if your command of the Spanish language is as poor as your command of English. Perhaps if you could communicate a little better, you wouldn't have encountered this wall you speak of. In my experience, locals treat extranjeros in the way you've described when affronted by his/her insistences and demands, by the request, be it tacit or otherwise, that things conform to foreign expectations. Perhaps, in your troubled relations with this city's inhabitants, the problems began not with the Porteño, but in your approach to him or her.
You see, I have had an experience completely opposite yours. A good life is possible here, rich with friends, delicious food, and a complete indifference to all things Recoleta; independent fashion exists, class replete with every bit of ass intact. Truly, I always tend to find such negative rants coming from the mouths of Americans about foreign cities to speak more of the traveler than of the destination. In this case, the ugliest picture you've painted is of yourself. So from one yanqui to another, perhaps you're best off taking that self and getting the hell out. Chau chica. I hope Bogota's THE BOMB.
dear bitchy anonymous portena
You are glad here so f..... what.
I am not happy with this society that seem to be sickly addicted to with the superficiality that you express with every written word that you so..... elengantly express like a true portena.
Insecurity is obvious with your every written word and Im sure that you have a tri weekly shrink in villa freud caterering to your every need
chau chau
chau chau
Whew! My my my Idaho, when you get mad, your English gets even worse.
But guess what: I'm a boy! An American boy.
And no, I have no shrink, but I thank you for your diagnosis; you seem to be quite the expert at detecting insecurity. And you've caught me! I am insecure. It is true. Who is not? Maybe I belong here.
Anyway, enjoy Colombia. You seem a pleasant addition to any culture.
un beso
chauchau
I should had realised you were a precious gay boy as you completely fit in to Buenos Aires the land of Evita Tranvestites and Fashion junkies
CHAUCHAU
Hey, that was too much.
the land of evita transvestites? what`s that supposed to mean?
It's ok Diva, for someone who seems frustrated with the way Americans are characterized here, our poor disenchanted Idahoan has no trouble assigning everyone else their place in life.
But I wonder as well: Evita transvestites? Precious gay boys?
I guess it's easier to force people into nonsensical types than it is to take them individually. Why acknowledge the possibility that someone with an independent brain could enjoy this city without being cheaply discarded?
Anyway, enough! I have shopping to do, make-up to apply and, like, seven boys to kiss. Why am I wasting my time with this Sad Sally?
Whoa!!! Fireworks on the bitchblog!
Responding to the topic, I totally know chanta folks. Definately poisonous playmates, but the thing is that I've even found myself becoming that. It's weird, people expect you to be nice all the time and get upset if you're not. I think the idaho raised a good point when she said that us Yanquis get a bad rap for being cold. (and superficial! What are you thinking, idaho?)
Since I've been living here it's been a big challange to figure out the differences between personality and culture/subculture. Frequently they aren't so clear because of stereotypes on both sides.
My parents immigrated to the USA from South Africa and they are fairly different in their accents, mannarisms and customs. All their friends thought they were so unique and cool. Then one day a friend of theirs visited South Africa and realized that all those "eccentric" things they thought were so unique were just ingrained as part of their culture.
On the cheaply discarded part: I think it's really hard to take people at face value. Especially as a foreigner I feel like I often have to make decisions about people based on very little knowledge.
Lastly, for personal reasons I want to comment that the chinese food issue is near and dear to my heart. I used to moan and moan about how bland chinese food sucked... but then then I got food poisoning from some spicy pork and during a long week of fevering illness I saw a light and it told me that this was the Porteño gods punishing me for eating spicy food because I could probably tell bland bad pork if I ate it.
uhmm... that's my super long comment...
Thank you for your essay nathan!!!
oh! and i`ve received an e mail about a night tour in Chacarita cemetery
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