Starbucks...

As a defender of the old style cafes of buenos aires, the other day I decided to go to Starbucks´s to taste their products, but I couldn't : about 60 people were standing in line waiting outside in the cold to buy their coffee. It made me wanna cry.

Almost everybody in the line were teenagers wearing expensive clothes but with an extreme lack of taste/personality/style and sad couples in their 20´s but who already act like their 50 yo parents. People who would normally go to eat at Mc Donald's, Burger king or Aroma- for a romantic dinner-.

I was really shocked by this sight. Why is it so cool to go to Starbucks? Why were they whiling to wait for an hour to but an expensive-but-not-so-good coffee? Since when teenagers from BA enjoy coffee?

So my advice is: if you are missing Starbucks, you better buy a plane ticket, flight back to your country and have it there; you´ll be saving a lot of time an effort.

San Telmo through my eyes

The neighbourhood is charming: Cobblestone streets, antique architecture, old stores managed by its 80 yo owner, etc, etc.

But....

The pipes of the building don´t work as they should so your downstairs neighbour calls you at 7 on a Saturday morning to tell you that there is a leak in his bathroom coming from your apartment. And then he sends you the plumber on Sunday at 8 am.

You want to buy groceries but you have to wait for ages till the owner of the store finishes the chat with a client that has been shopping there every single day for the last 2 centuries.

It´s a very international, diverse and interesting neighbourhood since a lot of young and bohemian tourists choose to stay or live here.

That´s why...

They are turning San Telmo into the new Palermo Soho. Now you can find an Havanna Cafe, a freddo ice-cream store, and in some stores you have to buzz if you want to go in. Not to mention the menus in English (something impossible to find not so long ago), the prices in US Dollars (or Euros) and the Leather stores!!! I hate leather stores, they are depressing.

Plus a lot of strangers keep saying "hello" ( in English) to you in the streets, because they think you are a friendly (or stupid) tourist who is whiling to have a conversation and then take them stranger to your temporary apartment to dance Tango naked (and more). When this happen to me for the first time - the hello part, I mean- I thought it was kind of nice, after a few weeks, it´s annoying, plus you know the real intentions and you want to spit on their face.

It´s a quiet neighbourhood only 5 minutes away from downtown

mmmmm.....

well it´s 5 minutes away on a Sunday morning when there is no traffic!

And when they say quiet, they should warn you that what they mean is that there are no taxi cabs at night, or that you cannot find kiosks open 24/7 or big supermarkets and that some stores close at siesta time (this is nice, actually). Or they should also tell you that probably your neighbours are a bunch of international students who party at least 6 nights a week.

Butting Diva? Pleeease

Me: Hey, You are butting (I was speaking Spanish, of course)

A.H: Excuse me? (the prick answered in English)

Me: I said, Stop butting me!

A.H: No problem (again, he replied in English, pretending that he couldn´t understand)

Me: Look, I´ve heard you speaking Spanish before so don´t give me that crap ( I couldn't believe that someone would dare to do that stupid trick, specially when his English accent was sooo lame)

A.H: (mute)

Me: Plus, we can speak English, if that´s what you want (I said that in English)

A.H: Oh Please, please, please, please, please, please (seriously he said Por favor like a million times, very mad). What are you saying? I´ve been here for 2 hours and you´ve just arrived. ( He was very uncomfortable because everybody started to pay attention to our conversation)

Me: I´ve just arrived and you were not here!

A.H: Oh god, why do I have to speak to a Concha? (if you don´t know the meaning of concha go here. In Argentina, this term is used by gay guys to refer to women and it´s not as offensive as in other countries)

Me: Probably because you cannot speak to a Penis anymore (He was a middle aged decadent gay guy)

A.H: This is my space also, that´s your space, this is mine (he started mumbling incoherences). There are no barriers.

Me: There is an invisible barrier between you and me that you don´t have to cross

A.H: Don´t give queers a hard time, my love.

Me: I´m not giving you or any queer a hard time, ask my friends ( My friends: 3 homos). Just get out of my way.

A.H: Please, please, please, please ( he started with the por favor once more, he knew that he was not going to win and he was sooooo mad. My friends were laughing out loud right next to him)

Me: Stop it!!!!

The guy finally went away and I was happy again. Once more I saved the world from the irrespectfulness and stupidity of arrogant porteños.

Is she porteña?

You are dating a girl but you are not sure if she is porteña or not? Answer truth or false to the following statements. If more than 4 are true, there is no doubt that the girl is 100% porteña

1- You met her a week ago and you are already getting tired of her demmands

2- She talks about her last boyfriend, how bad the relationship was and how hurt she is

3- She says things like "Argentine men are idiots/inmature/ass-----"

4- She asks you if you like her or if you "really" like here at least once every 2 sentences

5- She gets mad at stupid things and 2 minutes after yelling at you she is calm and sweat again

6-She goes crazy if you talk to the waitress more than what she thinks it´s appropriate

7- She compares herself to other women and asks your opinion about it

8-If you pay to much attention to her she´ll feel like you are invading her space

9- if you don´t call her for a day she´ll think that you are cheating or that you´ve lost interest